Day 2 of my year long journey
I have always prided myself on being a great multitasker. The more things I can fit into the day the better day I have. I have a tote bag that I keep near the door with magazines that I want to read, files of projects I am working on, scissors, coupons and a few snacks for the children when I am carting them around to dance lessons, chess or Lego group. You never know when you may have a few spare minutes to do something. I vividly remember once being at work and preparing a tax return while answering the phone, copying a tax return, reaching with my foot to close a door, grabbing a pen with my free hand and thinking how amazing I was being able to do everything at once.
I take pride in being able to do it all. If you call me at 2:00 am and asked, “Did I wake you up?” I would answer, “No, of course not!” Sleep is for weak people. I don’t want anyone to think I sleep that means I am not doing something productive.
I am the ultimate planner. I have notebooks for the holidays already to go. I know what we are having for Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas breakfast and Christmas day. I know what kinds of cookies we are baking and have grocery lists made out for each item and meal. I have even thought about switching to address labels for our Christmas cards since I already have the list made out but wonder if that is cheating if they are not individually addressed by hand. The Christmas presents for my children are away in bins upstairs. I am not done shopping but hope to be very soon and then I will wrap them soon so that they are ready to go on Christmas Eve.
My next Disney trip, not until May 2011, is planned with notebooks of information on where we will be each day and what we will be doing filed in protective sheet covers (yes, I really am THAT bad) and ideas for possible side trips for our drive down to Florida. I still need to print the AAA maps that will also go in the notebook and planned budget. That is never far from my mind.
But, I realize I feel like I am holding my breath all the time. My upper back and shoulders have been bothering me lately because they are so tense. The nerves are starting to fray and it is starting to show in strange ways in my life. I cannot think of simple words. I am forgetting simple things such as writing something down on the calendar, which I live by. I cannot relax.
But today I will start.
I will breathe. I am going to take a few moments every hour or so and just stop for a few moments and consciously breathe. Counting to 20 inhaling and exhaling. Slowing down for just a few moments. Becoming aware of the feelings inside my body and letting it all just slow down. No multitasking for a few minutes just breathing.